By now, most of us have heard the term Super Mom used to describe moms who do it all. You've seen the picture: a woman with a successful and satisfying full-time job who devotes her every free moment to the kids, running from soccer to violin practice to running an arts & crafts hour for the neighborhood kids while a gleamingly-clean house beckons in the background, steam from a scrumptious home-cooked meal rising from the dinner table.
But what you don't as often hear about is the Super Peasant Parent. That's right! Super Peasant Parents, as you might imagine, are the new to-do, an up-and-coming breed. A blend of farm chicanery mixed with street smarts mixed with anything-to-keep-the-kids-busy mentality, Super Peasant Parents are all the rage. A must-have for any respectable new parent!
Because where else, except in Super Peasant Parent school, could you send the tykes and kiddies out into the barnyard for hours of fun? Watch them pit rooster against rooster, pig against duck, horse patty against cow dung--all while honing their analytical skills. Encourage them in the fine art of egg toss: how far, how fun! Hone their counting skills while they find and destroy as many weeds as they can in a 45-minute period: a Peasant People's version of Bush's "Shock and Awe" campaign.
I know what you're thinking: what if this isn't right for my family? But that's the beauty of it, my friend! The Super Peasant Parent Campaign is one that's tailored to you--your strengths, your weaknesses. So you don't do a lot except drink beer, you say. Think of all those countable bottles--they'll keep your kids busy for hours! What's that? You've got a precocious tyke? Well, pull out all the stops and add the vodka bottles you've been hiding under the kitchen sink. Or maybe you've got rats instead of chickens--wow! Think about the manual dexterity your children will learn as they lean left, lean right, busting around corners as they chase down those wiley little rascals! See, whatever path you choose, the Super Peasant Parent in you can't go wrong. For the Super Peasant Parent walks his or her own path--always.
So let's hear it for the new regime, people. Let's hear it for Peasant Power!